The Ugly Truth About New Age Dating
Why has dating become so difficult in 2018?
Dating in this new realm of Netflix and Chill comes with new rules and lowered standards of how men and women interact with one another during the dating stage. Phrases like “we’re just talking” and undefined labels of situation ships have been etched onto the drawing board blurring our senses of what a real relationship should be and what it truly means to date, explore options, and essentially get to know someone outside of the bedroom.
With the help of dating apps like Tinder, Zoosk, and Bumble, the hookup culture has become an appealing alternative for millennial's who would rather spend their time swiping left in the comforts of home, then to actually go out and meet someone face to face.
The pressures of not looking your best or coming off too strong have hindered the ability for young people to make romantic connections the old fashion way. For many of us, this way of dating has made it a nuisance when trying to find “the one” in a world full of people who are just trying to f*ck!
Millennials aren’t the only ones who have been caught in the crossfire when it comes to the lack of love and romance these days. Generation Z or the babies of the bunch are also finding it extremely problematic in finding adequate prom dates, fall dance partners, or long-term study buddies based off the premise of how dating has drastically changed throughout the years.
Here are a few of the “Ugly Truths” about today’s new way of dating:
- The person who cares less has all the power
This way of dating is all jacked up. Being open and vulnerable is one of the best yet scariest parts about meeting someone new that makes the experience all worth the wait. But with the help of emotionless memes, nobody wants to be the one who is more interested.
Instead, people want to play games of “how long it will take to text back” or not being eager to give someone a call. All of this is childish and will leave you singing the lonely blues if you just so happen to meet an old soul in the field of dating.
- Making phone calls is a dying art form
When is the last time you had a genuine phone conversation that lasted longer than 10 minutes with someone who you were interested in?
Hold on, I’ll wait.
Between texting, snap chatting, DM’ing and all the other useless ways in which you can contact a person, newly aged daters are oblivious to picking up the phone without getting tongue-tied. Being someone who enjoys talking on the phone, for me, this part of dating can potentially become a deal breaker, especially if time doesn’t permit an abundance of meetups or outings.
Phone conversations add another layer to the dynamic of a relationship in understanding how well the other person communicates. Without effective communication, what else is there?
- Going out on dates is non-existent
Why buy the milk, if you can get the cow for free? Excuse my old school metaphors but if you are old enough to understand the facts that I am laying out, then you understand that this saying is true especially for those of us who have encountered men who were hesitant in taking you out on a date.
I am not sure where this type of etiquette got lost in translation but the last time I checked, it was customary for the man to take the woman out, not the other way around.
I understand that we are moving towards a world of equal rights and feminism ways of thinking, but when it comes to the courting process, men should be taking their lady friend out, not hiding her behind closed doors.
The antics like the ones listed above makes it tough for old souls to find potential mates. We do not have time for the games, lies, or bad behaviors that come along with dating people who are not on our levels mentally, emotionally, and physically.
Here are a few old-school dating styles that should make a comeback:
- Conversations before asking for the number
If you are lucky enough to meet someone out at a bar or local coffee shop like how it was done back in the day, then having a conversation before exchanging numbers is what you would want to do in a perfect world. This lessens the anxiety of talking on the phone when you already know a little bit about the person beforehand.
- Being a Gentleman/Lady
Opening doors, ringing the doorbell, calling at reasonable times throughout the day, dressing up for dates. All these things go together when dating. Sadly, I have only experienced these niceties when dating older men, but it would be nice to see younger guys do these things as well.
Ladies, allowing a man to do nice things for you is also not a sign of weakness. Let him pull out your chair, pay for a few dates, bring your lunch to work, plan a romantic evening without your input. Sometimes letting a man be a man is the best thing we can do to restore our dating lives.
- Not rushing into a Relationship/Sex
In a mature relationship, sex should not be the end goal, and if it is, then the hookup culture is what you are looking for.
Sometimes we tend to rush things because we feel like we are getting too old or that time is being stacked against us. Instead of jumping into bed with the first person that you meet, or talking about relationship goals three weeks in, opt out of rushing the process and just go with the flow of things. Now, this doesn’t mean that you lose all morals and roam free in the land of the wild but creating personal boundaries and knowing what you want before jumping head first can lessen the strain of a potential broken heart down the road.
- Be clear about your intentions
This is where a lot of people go wrong when it comes to dating, being upfront about what you are looking for and the direction in which you see your social life can spare others of hurt feelings and resentment.
It is always best, to be honest in what you want no matter the outcome. If you and a potential partner are not on the same page about life, love, and relationships, then it is okay to walk away before both time and money become invested.
It’ll be a waste for the both of you.